Greg MD Blog

Dec. 19^th, 2012

Gregory McDowell-Dresden

536 Webster Street

Mishawaka, IN 46545

940-365-0164

 

Dear Parole Board Members:

First, I would like to start off saying thank you for your time, for hearing our voices and seeing my family at the present time concerning the sad situation that happen 31 years ago.  I was blessed with only nine years with my mother, which ended the day she was taken from me, my sister and our family.  There are many of emotions: sadness, pain and the loneliness of missing our mother, sister and daughter.  We will never have the chance to talk, share laughter or smile with her again. We are left with only the memories of our vision that have been imbedded in our minds for the duration of our life time.  Over the last few months, I have been on a roller coaster ride of the highs and lows of emotions.  I can’t speak of anger, as I am past that!  I have forgave my Step-father for his actions at the age of 24, which only released me from the past rather than allowing that part to control me and/or my life.  God has given me a beautiful life;a good career, wonderful family, and great friends that have been through the ups and downs with me.

 As our family’s debates on why my step-father (Budd Miller) should or should not be released from prison, I can say we are divided on this issue personally. Over the last two months, I have heard and read so much about this situation that we are going through, that it has stirred up so many emotions and feelings about this sad, sad situation. Hearing all party’s debate on how they feel, I truly respect each individual’s feelings but the fact remains that we are divided on whether or not Budd should be released.  Each one of us has our own opinion on this situation but this will neither change what has happened nor will it bring our mother back to us or Larry to his family.

Recently, one evening while at home, I received an e-mail stating some disturbing remarks. I started to question so many things. In order to put my mind to rest, I pulled the coroner’s reports so that I could read up on this again since it had happened so long ago.  From the report I read, it stirred up so much pain and so many questions that it became very clear to me where I stand on this issue.  Because I became very emotional, I began to question why did Budd have to shoot my mother three times?  As I read the reports sitting in my kitchen at home, I just got this feeling all over me of the pain my mother endured as she lay there helpless and dying with no hope of life.  I also relived the pain I felt as a sixteen year old boy, scared so many years ago.  The tears flooded my eyes as I remember I was standing outside by the police car watching my mother be wheeled to the back of the ambulance watching helplessly as they were giving her oxygen.  Although this is so painful to remember, it is as fresh as the actual day of (Easter) April 19^th, 1981 and (Christmas Eve) Dec 24^th, 1980.  I will never forget seeing my sister‘s face covered in blood on Christmas Eve with the bullet hole in her head.  These two dates are embedded in my memory.  I will take this to my grave.

I am here to leave this decision in your hands, as the Parole Broad decides on denying or granting the release for Budd.  I can say I am neither a Judge nor a Jury to decide his fate, because my family and I have endured the lost of our mother, a sister, a daughter and grandmother.  Regardless of how divided we are, we appear here today as a family, I am a son who truly respects and loves his mother, in life but also in death.  Any decision you make won’t erase the sorrow from my memories or the love I will always continue to have for my mother.

My life will continue forward on the same path of success I’ve attained in these last 31 years, without judgment or malice for family members regardless of their point of view on this matter before you. Speaking out today, I can only hope they allow me the same in return. I’m at peace with my life and hope that they too can find inner peace. I lost my mother and my sister will never be the same person I knew before her being shot. Enough has been lost.  My faith rests on this Parole Board knowing all things will be considered and again thank you for hearing my voice.

Regards,

Gregory McDowell-Dresden